Mr. Wolf is Huffing and Puffing and Well — You Know the Rest

My life has never been the same since first meeting Mr. Wolf more than a decade ago.

Sadly, he became so fond of me that he decided to move in without an invitation, and I have been woefully unable to evict him since, despite my very best efforts.

I have Lupus, which I refer to as “Mr. Wolf,” because lupus is the Latin word for wolf, and boy has he been snapping his big teeth at me of late.

I have the most serious form of the disease, Systemic Lupus Erythematosus (pronounced: er-uh-thee-muh-toe-sus), also called SLE, which is an autoimmune disease. As such, it is characterized by a malfunction of the immune system. In these types of diseases, the immune system cannot distinguish between the body’s own cells and tissues and that of ‘foreign’ matter. So, rather than simply producing antibodies to attack invading viruses, bacteria or other similar foreign substances, my immune system creates auto-antibodies that attack my body’s own cells and/or tissues.

Like the last of the Three Little Pigs, I've learned long ago to build my house's foundation soundly against his attacks. I have built it upon the concepts of spirituality (Wicca), love (bisexual), hard work, honesty and a willingness to play (the last has been the hardest part for me.) Nonetheless, the truth is that my house is about to come down around my ears.

The past few months have been bleak. Mr. Wolf has been feasting virtually at will — and sister, does he have a lot of will. During the current onslaught, I went to the doctor and was told what I already knew — Mr. Wolf is coming closer and closer to achieving his goal.

Last year, I had a horrible realization: I can no longer remember what it felt like to be well. Oh, I have memories of being very active, unabashedly athletic and whole, but they are no longer sense memories. It’s as if that part of my life was so insubstantial that it has been absorbed into the unreality of dream.

When I was first diagnosed more than 15 years ago, I was consumed with knowing why my own body was trying to destroy me. At first, I found myself looking deeply into the mirror: Who was this stranger that had taken over my body? And, even more importantly, how could I ever learn to live with her?

I fell into a deep-as-the-deepest ravine depression. There was nothing left of the person I once was. Nothing, absolutely nothing, remained. Or so I thought then. I had been wrong. Very wrong. A tiny, itty-bitty, bright even luminous speck of something had survived.

Was it my soul? I still don’t know, but I think so. I also came to believe it was the divine spark of creation housed within all beings; that indescribable “something” that connects us all to each other regardless of race, gender, age, creed, religion or geography. Whatever it was, I felt it. Visceral.

But for the past few months, nothing. It had been a long process, but I had finally begun to believe again that I had a body, that I was a woman, not simply a lump of flesh that temporarily housed my brain until my ever-approaching death. Unfortunately, almost imperceptibly, I had become a “thing” again.

I had thought that once I had found my “soul,” that knowledge — that sense of self, would be mine forever. It has been sobering indeed to realize that self-knowledge, even hard-fought, can be forgotten in the face of relentless disease and worsening disability. So, once again I stood on the very brink. I had managed to take a step back once before, but did I have the ability, or even the will, to do it again?

For days, I once again stared at the pill bottle, my “stash” I had hoarded for years that would bring on the ultimate darkness. If I gave in to its seduction and the sweet oblivion it promised, I would finally rest. And, I was so very, very tired.

I thought back, what had I done before? What was it that had caused me to give a damn whether I met the next dawn? Slowly, I remembered – it was that little zing of life. That shooting feeling that you are, indeed, alive. Even muted by illness it was still there, still calling me unceasingly back from suicide: Sensation.

I sighed and put the pill bottle away— again. I know now that I will not improve, or may never even stabilize again. The truce, the peaceful co-existence, the political accord that I had hammered out with him before is gone.

I must once again work to reclaim my body, make her a part of me again. Integration in a literal sense. I have been kind, nurturing, drawing her back — but that is no longer enough.

Before, it was my honest sexuality that was the key. I had worked to feel arousal again, slowly, gradually working to feel even a nano flash of sexual interest. Once I had done that, I almost immediately remembered the long-lost feeling of my “soul.”

When I was having sex, I was no longer disabled. The pain that has always been Mr. Wolf’s hallmark transcended into pleasure. Touch and intimacy has been my link to the divine for as long as I can remember. In those moments, I was my true self again. Not a disabled person on her way out, but a living, vibrant woman who was put on this planet for some purpose beyond my finite understanding.

It seems significant that I have to relearn this simple message yet again — but this time without my usual coping mechanism. My sexuality continues to elude me now, so I have to figure something else out. Perhaps I failed to appreciate that my real sense of self, my soul, cannot be wooed from the outside, but must be found within. Even though I had connected to her through my physical senses and the practice of a Divine sexuality, she is not really connected to my body at all. She exists in everything, in everyone. Even me — still.

Thus, I have decided to move forward knowing that my deterioration simply is. Mr. Wolf is real, and I can't pretend that he's just some euphemism I created to represent my disease. I need to find new ways to hang on, to continue breathing. I was given the gift of life, and it remains a gift still.

I also hereby re-dedicate my efforts to re-establish my intimate life. I want the most satisfying sex possible. For me, sex doesn’t just promote overall health, it has always meant the very breath of creation. Despite needing to learn a different way to remain connected, I refuse to give up hope that physical intimacy is lost to me now.

— Danu's Daughter

Eat, Drink and be Merry, for on May 21 We Die!

OK, so what's with this end of the world stuff, anyway?

Most people have heard the “theory” that the world is going to end in 2012, according to the Mayan calendar, but recently billboards have started popping up across the country "revealing" the world’s literal last day will be on May 21 this year, allegedly based on the Hebrew Calendar.

Christian Evangelical Radio host Harold Camping and his followers have calculated this date CERTAIN of Christ's "Second Coming" (something that Born Again and other Evangelical Christians refer to as, 'The Rapture') after using a series of insanely complicated and suspiciously bogus calculations.

"It's going to be a horror story that we absolutely cannot conceive of. Millions of people will die on that day and everyday thereafter," Camping said.

According to Camping, who is the founder of the Family Radio Network, Judgment Day will begin with earthquakes — at 6 p.m. local time.

Camping's followers have been traveling around the world, spreading the word about the forthcoming day. "We see people that give us the thumb. They say, 'Thumbs up.' We also see people that, unfortunately, give us the other finger," said one devotee, Darryl Keats.

Camping's doomsday scenario has given the late-night talk show hosts grist for their comedy mills, but sadly a lot of regular people have admitted to being terrified as the date fast approaches, according to recent news accounts.

Look, I'm not a Christian anymore, but if it makes those of you who are feel any better, here are two New Testament verses apropos, from the King James version:

"For ye know neither the day nor the hour wherein the Son of man cometh," (Matthew, Chapter 25, verse 13); and, "Watch therefore: for ye know not what hour your Lord doth come," (Matthew, Chapter 24, verse 42.)

Let's talk a bit here about death. As an anonymous philosophical wit once observed, "None of us is getting out of here alive."

It is vital that we come to grips with the very reality of the very real end of our lives — whether it's in two weeks or two decades, or longer.

I have Lupus, S.E., a worsening auto-immune disease that will eventually kill me if nothing else does. Since I learned my diagnosis, I have become progressively sicker, and just last week found out that I am deteriorating at quite a disgusting pace.

I was pretty bummed, but I do know the real truth; that it doesn't matter how many days or years you live, but what you do with them. (Brother, I certainly am filled with cliches today!) I don't mean how much money you make, or how "important" you are, but how many people you've touched, and how many people you've allowed into your heart.

As a sex-positive, bisexual Wiccan, I believe that life and its many pleasures are to be thoroughly explored and enjoyed; that our physical couplings should be as frequent and fun as possible, but also sometimes seen as sacred; and that the divine exists within each and every being on this wonderfully diverse and rich planet.

My faith isn't based on fear, threats, and always looking toward an uncertain hereafter, but rather what we've done in the here-and-now.

So, if the gig is up for the whole of Mother Earth, why not celebrate the life you've had every day until then, and if it's not, why not celebrate every day after?

Meanwhile, the Florida Atheists and Secular Humanists have posted their own billboard advertising a recruitment party at Tiki Bar on May 21. "The upcoming rapture that's predicted for May 21 obviously is nonsense," said Ken Loukinen of the Florida Atheists. "We're just drawing attention, poking a little fun."

Mainstream Evangelical Christians have avoided the topic despite Camping's insistence that Judgment Day is soon to come. "This is not something where there's a tiny, tiny, tiny chance it might happen. It is going to happen," said Camping.

Oh yes, quite an important uh...end note: Camping’s findings should be taken with tons and tons of salt, as people have been predicting the end of the world, unsuccessfully of course, since 1260. Camping himself “miscalculated” in 1994. In 1860 there was even a “Great Disappointment” when people were warned about the Second Coming. Much more recently, who can forget the doomsayers who predicted the end of the world at the change of the millennium, the so-called Y2K disaster that turned out to be just another glorious day!

— Danu's Daughter

May 05 – Cinco de Mayo

As a Solitary Practitioner of Wicca, I believe it's extremely important to be respectful of other cultures, practices, faiths and beliefs – but also to learn about them whenever and wherever you can.

In America, our relationship with Mexico is strained right now, especially in border states, because of the issue of illegal immigration.

My viewpoint about that issue is unimportant to relate here. What is important, is to stress tolerance, acceptance and love, to all – regardless of where your home is located.

So, I salute Mexico, Mexican Americans and Chicanos today on their beloved Cinco de Mayo!
Today is the anniversary of an extremely historic, and vital event for those communities. It was on May 5th in 1862 that 2,000 poorly trained Mexican peasants, under the command of General Ignacio Zaragoza, fiercely fought and won the Battle at Puebla against a regiment of 6,000 French soldiers under the command of Napoleon III.

This observance of the Cinco de Mayo victory is a special symbol for all Mexican people and their descendants who celebrate their rights of freedom and liberty, honoring those who fought and won against greater odds.

Although the Mexican army was eventually defeated, the "Batalla de Puebla" has come to represent a symbol of Mexican unity and patriotism.

With this single victory, Mexico demonstrated to the world that Mexico and all of Latin America were willing to defend themselves against any foreign intervention. Especially those from imperialist states bent on world conquest.


In modern times on the Fifth of May, Cinco de Mayo is celebrated by native Mexican (and frequently American) people everywhere. In Mexico, several towns elaborately reenact the Battle of Puebla in a day-long dramatization that includes acting and speeches.

In America, Cinco de Mayo is an opportunity to celebrate Chicano culture in general, and is celebrated with huge fairs that include Mexican singing, dancing, feasting, costumes, sports activities, fireworks, and entertainment.

You can find the stereotypical Mariachi bands playing, while dancers perform native Mexican dances such as the Mexican Hat Dance and the Raspa.

Speeches and parades also encompass a large part of these celebrations too. But, you can also find more realistic cultural experiences of the rich history of these incredible people if you make the effort.

Participating in, and honoring, these events is a real way to celebrate and renew the friendship between the U.S. and Mexico. Viva Cinco de Mayo!

— Danu's Daughter

Let There Be Peace — Not Hatred

Late last night, al-Qaida leader Osama bin Laden was killed in his Pakistani compound following a daring nighttime raid by Navy Seals.

The Seals rappelled over barbed wire fencing, entering the compound and searching bedrooms for the mastermind of the worst terror attacks in U.S. history. Those Sept. 11, 2001 attacks have changed this country forever.

Finding him, they ordered, "Surrender! Surrender!" When he refused to do so, he was shot twice in the head.

Last night around midnight, President Obama announced the raid and Bin Laden's death, saying, "Justice was done." Today during an afternoon press conference, Obama declared, "is a good day for America."

I am a Solitary Practitioner of Wicca. As such, I believe that all life is sacred — not just the good people, but the bad ones too. I am profoundly grateful to the Seals who risked their lives in the raid, but also that they gave this international criminal an opportunity to surrender.

Our country is founded on the democratic concepts of due process, and equal treatment under the law. We base those laws on the Constitution and Bill of Rights, not the Sectarian Law that is confined to the dogmatic limits of a specific religious sect or denomination.

Thus, the U.S. does not practice "an eye-for-an-eye," if we did, we would be no better than the terrorists we fight. I also oppose the death penalty.

Bin Laden was buried at sea, following Islamic Law. I would imagine that choice was also made so that there would be no grave to become a shrine for other terrorist-religious extremists to visit, thus making Bin Laden a martyr to their cause.

To those in Americans who celebrated the death, I urge you to be more reflective. Every person carries a spark of the Goddess within, so rejoicing in the killing of anyone may have unintended Karmic consequences. It is also a tenant of Wicca to respect all faiths.

We should also remember the thousands of Muslims that have died as a direct result of Bin Laden's outrages, not to mention everyone who had died since in the armed conflicts.

As a Wiccan, my faith can be summed up as:

"Bide the Wiccan laws ye must, in perfect love and perfect trust...Mind the Threefold Law ye should – three times bad and three times good...Eight words the Wiccan Rede fulfill – an it harm none, do what ye will."

I hope this will be another turning point in this country: Toward peace.

I pray it is the beginning of the end of the longest war in this country's history, as well as the on-going war in Afghanistan, which has been the stronghold of al-Qaida.

I also hope that we will begin to overcome religious hatred toward Muslims, finally understanding that it was not the faith that killed thousands and continues to threaten to reign mass destruction on the U.S. and our allies, but radical extremists/fanatics who work outside their own religion's precepts.

On a very personal note: I had the honor to be working with the New Jersey state law enforcement agency on that fateful Sept. 11 morning — which was brilliantly sunny and cloud free. In its aftermath, my agency provided backup assistance to New York City police and fire companies, and also to families and friends who lost loved ones in the cowardly attacks.

State police escorted me to Ground Zero about two weeks after the attacks, before it was reopened to civilians. We went over in a small boat. As we crossed New York Harbor from New Jersey, the Statue of Liberty on my right, I saw the burning face of the new skyline directly before me. Lady Liberty almost directly opposite that shameless brutality.

Recovery efforts were still underway, and the Twin Towers were still burning. I met exhausted first-responders, and aid workers who had come from around the world to help.

I talked to one New York police officer who refused to stop working. She was sleeping in one of the burned out buildings adjacent to the site. The triage centers had set up areas for workers to shower, worried about the contamination that we now know caused even more deaths in the months and years that have followed. Someone had donated the use of a large ship which was docked nearby, to allow workers to eat en masse, and also to rest.

The statuesque woman appeared to be in her 20's, with striking red hair, and hollow eyes. She told me that she was a fourth-generation New York City beat cop.

She had been on patrol that horrific morning near the Twin Towers, and saw the planes hit. Without a thought, she ran at full speed TOWARD the devastation — rather than away from it. She managed to pull some people out before she was beaten back by flames and ever-worsening smoke.

"They attacked my precinct," she said, then repeated it over-and-over-again, until she gradually fell silent.

I exchanged glances with a few other officers who were also her friends. Her post-traumatic shock was so palpable that it was excruciating to see. They shook their heads, silently telling me that they could not convince her to leave, or to get help.

When I got to the actual site, I saw workers in full-gear collapsed in exhaustion, many working 18-hour shifts hoping they still might find a miracle survivor. One firefighter described the work to me. He was from Australia, which had sent a full contingency to help!

Eventually, I went to the edge of the crater caused by the Towers' collapse into the underground. I spent some time in silent prayer before returning to my group.

Afterward, I went to the center my agency had established in New Jersey to help the victims' families and friends. Most had the same hollowed eyes that I had seen on the face of the female officer.

At the center, family and friends posted collages-memorials of their loved ones. Eventually, those were carefully preserved, and will end up in a 9/11 museum.

Later, we all learned that the thick dust that clung to everything and everyone at the attack site was pulverized cement, combined with the ashes of the dead.

I see the faces of those I met often, as well as what the devastation looked, sounded and even smelled like in detail. I will carry them until I am dust. Nonetheless, I still believe in due process and not simply retribution. We are not a cruel, angry, vicious mob — we are America!

— Danu's Daughter

Pronouncement: Beloved John Paul II!

Pope Benedict XVI beatified Pope John Paul II before an estimated 2 million faithful in St. Peter's Square and surrounding streets this morning, moving the beloved former pontiff one step closer to probable sainthood in one of the largest turnouts ever for a Vatican Mass.

I am a devout Pagan, a faith-filled Solitary Practitioner of Wicca and have been for many years. Why then am I blogging about this "Catholic/Christian" event? Because I loved this man — enough to have gotten up at 4 a.m., E.S.T., to watch the Mass live.

Today's Mass occurred on Divine Mercy Sunday, the first Sunday after Easter. Pope Benedict wore the chasuble and mitre frequently worn by Pope John Paul II during his 26-year pontificate, which spanned from Oct. 22 1978, to April 2 2005.

I am a former Catholic, converting I realized later largely because of Pope John Paul II's magnetic, amazingly angelic-like personality. Had he not been Pope, I am sure that I would never have traveled down that faith path. Nonetheless, he remains my Pope, my beloved "Papa," and will until I am also dust.

The first-ever Polish Pope, traveled to 109 nations during his papacy. Each time he disembarked, he knelt and kissed the tarmac as a moving sign of respect for each country/nation that he visited, and also in humility. Later, when his health was ravaged by Parkinson's Disease and he was unable to kneel, his aides would bring a dish of native soil up to him to kiss.

It is interesting to note that a French nun, Sister Marie Simone-Pierre, who also suffered from Parkinson's Disease, prayed to the pontiff a week after his death, and received a complete cure. It was her experience that the Vatican investigated and confirmed as a "miracle," a necessary step toward Beatification.

When he died in 2005, the faithful had gathered exactly where today's ceremony was held. Then, the overflow crowd spontaneously erupted, chanting: "Santo Subito!" — meaning "Sainthood Now!" or "Sainthood Immediately!" They chanted it over and over again, unexpectedly stopping the Resurrection Mass for several moments. Their voices rang out through the square, filling it and echoing off the ancient Basilica with an indescribable intensity and yes, love. I truly felt chills watching it on TV thousands of miles away.

During today joyous Mass, an enormous tapestry of John Paul II based on a 1995 photograph by his then official photographer, Arturo Mari, was unveiled from the balcony of Saint Peter’s. It showed the pontiff with a twinkle in his eye, and a slightly wry smile.

[Note: The tapestry is depicted at the top of this post.]

To begin today's Beatification rite, Cardinal Agostino Vallini, vicar general of the Rome Diocese, and Mgr Slawomir Oder, the postulator of the Cause, approached Pope Benedict. In Latin, Cardinal Vallini formally requested, "the Beatification of the Servant of God Pope John Paul II."

In a short biography of the late Pontiff, who was born born Karol Józef Wojtyła on May 18 1920, the cardinal said the characteristic of John Paul II’s Faith and Pontificate were a devotion to God, and his complete, almost childlike trust in "Our Lady," the Virgin Mary. It was also mentioned that today was appropriate for the Beatification because it is the first of May, or to the faithful, first Sunday of "the Month of Mary." To me, it is appropriate because it is Wicca's Beltane — a celebration of life's renewal and wonder.

He went on to talk about John Paul’s missionary zeal and his love of young people for whom he established World Youth Day, which raised a loud cheer from young pilgrims in Rome for the Beatification.

Pope Benedict, of whom I am not fond, then declared that John Paul II's "name will forever be Blessed." It now remains for one more miracle to be reported and confirmed for him to be Canonized as a Saint.

"He restored to Christianity its true face as a religion of hope," Benedict said in his homily.

In John Paul's native country, tens of thousands of people gathered in rain in a major sanctuary in Krakow and in Wadowice, where the pontiff was born. Prime Minister Donald Tusk and his wife Malgorzata watched the ceremony together with Wadowice residents.

"I wonder what we would have been like and what would not have happened if we had not had our pope," Minister Tusk was quoted as saying. "All that good that we all have received is still working."

Blessed John Paul II, or John Paul the Great, was also given a formal "Feast Day," upon which he will be celebrated annually. His day is Oct. 22, which was the date of his first public Mass in 1978 as Pope, during which he repeated what was to become his mantra: "Do Not Be Afraid."

I am still shocked at how strongly I respond to him. I am liberal and disagreed with almost every stance he ever took on church policy. For some reason, none of that matters. What matters is how I felt when I saw him, and still feel when I remember him, or even look at a photograph.

John Paul’s was a papacy of milestones. In 1978, as Cardinal Wojtyla of Krakow, he became the first non-Italian to become pope in four centuries. Under him, the church issued its first new catechism in nearly 500 years. In 2000, he asked pardon for the church’s sins against Jews, women, heretics (like me) and minorities. He was also the first pope to visit a Muslim mosque, and a Jewish synagogue.

He survived an assassination attempt by a Turkish gunman in 1981, a still-hazy chapter in Cold War history. He later visited the gunman in prison and forgave him. The man later said the Pontiff's visit changed his life.

When he was shot, I was not a Catholic at the time. Nonetheless, I sent my first and only Western Union telegram directly to the Vatican, telling him that he was in the prayers of those other than his own faith.

Blessed John Paul's closed coffin was exhumed from a crypt beneath the Basilica, and was placed at the center aisle during the ceremony. Pope Benedict kissed it reverently. He was followed by scores of cardinals who did the same. The simple wooden casket will be placed in a side chapel next to Michelangelo’s “Pietà,” allowing it to be viewed for the first time since his funeral.
 
During the Mass, Benedict received a silver reliquary holding a vial of blood taken from John Paul during his final hospitalization. The relic, a key feature of beatification ceremonies, will be available for the faithful to venerate.

It was presented to him by Sister Tobiana, the Polish nun who tended to John Paul throughout his pontificate, and Sister Marie Simone-Pierre.

Thousands of pilgrims, many of them from John Paul's native Poland, spent the night in sleeping bags on bridges and in piazzas around town, and then packed St. Peter's as soon as the barricades opened over an hour in advance because the crowds were too great.

They stood shoulder-to-shoulder on the main boulevard leading to the Vatican, Via della Conciliazione, as well as on side streets around it and the bridges crossing the Tiber leading to St. Peter's waving flags from Argentina, Germany, Great Britain and Lebanon.

It's the fastest beatification on record, coming just six years after John Paul died and beating out the beatification of Mother Teresa by a few days. It was also the first time a sitting Pope beatified his predecessor.

[Note above photo: The reliquary containing the blood of Pope John Paul II was placed on a pedestal during the beatification ceremony by Sister Marie Simon Pierre, right, who says she was cured of Parkinson's Disease after praying to John Paul II; and Sister Tobiana, who is also a nurse who cared for the late Pope.]

 — Danu's Daughter

April's Showers Lead to May's Beltane, Part II

May Day is Beltane and a sacred time for Wiccans and Pagans throughout the world.

It is a time to celebrate the Earth's renewal, to glory in life's power and its wonders. If you are an adult, it is a time to delight in sensual pleasures, and to dance with abandon and sing in the moonlight.

As a Solitary Practitioner of Wicca, I observe the holidays (Sabbats in honor of the gods, and Esbats in honor of the goddesses) as the Wheel of the Year turns. I follow these basic religious laws, which can be consolidated as:

"Bide the Wiccan laws ye must, in perfect love and perfect trust...Mind the Threefold Law ye should — three times bad and three times good...Eight words the Wiccan Rede fulfill — an it harm none, do what ye will."

May's Eve

The Sacred Sabbat Beltane officially begins at sunset on April 30. Although most celebrations don't get into full swing until May 1, most Wiccans and Pagans acknowledge May's Eve in some fashion.

A nice tradition to start is to take equal lengths of white and silver ribbons, then tie them in a bow around one of the lower branches of a tree, preferrably a Hawthorn, one of the original Sacred Trees. Do this at sunset, and focus on the beautiful tree, then ask the Goddess for Her blessings.

Beltane

As a significant Sabbat, I am presenting some additional Beltane rituals in this Part II of the post.

The word "Beltane" literally means "bright" or "brilliant fire," and refers to the bonfire lit by a presiding Druid in honor of the proto-Celtic god variously known as Bel, Beli, Balar, Balor or Belenus. It has been suggested that Bel is the Brythonic Celt equivalent to the Goidelic Celt god Kernunnos.

The third of the two Celtic fire festivals, Beltane was a celebration of the return of life and fertility to the world, and was celebrated on or around April 30, athough in these later years has become more commonly celebrated on May 1 ("May Day").

Beltane is sometimes referred to as Cetsamhain which means "opposite Samhain." Beltane was the last of the three spring fertility festivals, and the second major Celtic festival. Beltane, and its counterpart Samhain, divide the year into its two primary seasons, Winter and Summer.

On the eve of Beltane the Celts build two large fires, created from the nine sacred woods, in honor of Summer. The tribal herds were ritually driven between them, so as to purify and protect them in the upcoming year. The fires celebrate the return of life and fruitfulness to the earth. Celebration included frolicking throughout the countryside, dancing the Maypole, leaping over fires, and "going a maying". It was customary for young lovers to spend the night in the forest.

Beltane was the time of sensuality revitalized the reawakening of the earth and all of her children. It was the time when tribal people celebrated with joy the vivid colors and vibrant scents of the season, tingling summer breezes, and the rapture of summer after a long dormant winter.

It was customary that Handfastings (weddings,) for a year and a day, take place at this time. On May Eve, people would tear branches from a Hawthorn tree and decorate the outside of their homes. The Hawthorn, or Whitethorn, is the tree of hope, pleasure, and protection. The strong taboo on breaking Hawthorne branches or bringing them into the home was traditionally lifted on May Eve.

Another custom was to leap over the Beltane bonfire. Young people jumped the fire for luck in finding a spouse, travelers jumped the fire to ensure a safe journey, and pregnant women jumped the fire to assure an easy delivery.

Traditional Beltane Activities

— Arise at dawn and wash in the morning dew, for the woman who washes her face in it will be beautiful, the man who washes his hands will be skilled with knots and nets.
— If you live near water, make a garland or posy of spring flowers and cast it into stream, lake or river to bless the water spirits.
— Prepare a May basket by filling it with flowers and goodwill, then give it to one in need of caring, such as a shut-in or elderly friend.
— Beltane is one of the three "spirit-nights" of the year when the faeries can be seen. At dusk, twist a rowan sprig into a ring and look through it, and you may see them.
— Make a wish as you jump a bonfire or candle flame for good luck—but make sure you tie up long skirts first!
— Make a May Bowl —wine or punch in which the flowers of sweet woodruff or other fragrant blossoms are soaked—and drink with the one you love.
— Celebrants sometimes jump over broomsticks, especially at Handfastings (weddings) that are very common during this season, or dance around May Poles, as both of these are symbols of fertility.
— Traditional activities include blowing horns, and gathering flowers. Solitary Practitioners might consider the weaving together of ribbons as an alternative to creating and dancing around the May Pole.
— Many like to celebrate Beltaine by decorating their homes and themselves with fresh flower garlands, or by stringing up greenery around their homes and places of work.
— Sending flowers to loved ones, planting new gardens, cleaning out the cupboards and general spring cleaning are all traditional Beltaine gestures.
— Plaiting and weaving straw, creating things with wicker, making baskets and fabrics are traditional arts for this turn in the Wheel of the Year.

Outdoor Beltane Ritual for the Solitary Practitioner

Preparation

— Prior to this rite you should have made ready a wooden wand. This should be from a fallen branch of an Oak or Hazel tree. Remember, never take the wood from a living tree, as it disrespects the life force of the tree, and the Goddess!

The wood can be cut into the rough shape of a phallus, if so it should be of the appropriate size and shape. On the other hand, a simple branch, peeled of its bark, and about 13 inches long and half an inch thick is also acceptable. Place the wand upon your altar, within the the area you will be casting for a Sacred Circle.

— Prepare a dish containing earth you have gathered and place it upon the altar beside the wand. [The dirt will symbolize the entire Earth in the ceremony.]

The Rite

Cast the Circle and invoke the Lady and her Consort. After the invocation, dance and chant to raise power for magickal activities, and then send that power from the earth and into an unlit candle, which has been placed inside the cauldron and is at the center of the circle.

Chant the following (or make up your own):

"Beltane! I dance with delight on Beltane's night. All senses freeing, I dance for being. The flower and the flame of love's own rite shall blossom. Sun embrace Earth, bright."

Light the candle to the represent the reborn Sun God. This is the Beltane fire, our modern substitute for the hilltop bonfires of our ancestors. The Bel fire is an invocation to the Sun God to bring blessing and protection for the coming year. This is sacred fire with healing and purifying properties.

As you light the candle, the cauldron a symbol of the Goddess, be aware of its wonderful power and significance. Say:

"I light this candle to honor the Sun."

Now, raise the dish containing the dirt. Bless it in the name of the Goddess by saying:

"I bless, consecrate, and set apart this earth, in the name of the Triple Goddess. May this be sacred earth, set apart for magick. For earth is of the Goddess, being her sacred body."

Remember that the Goddess is not only of the Moon, but of the Earth and of the farthest stars. She is the Triple Goddess of the Circle of Rebirth, the Mother of All Life. [You might wish to decorate the dish of earth with flowers prior to the ceremony.]

Now, take the wooden wand and oil it with vegetable or some other natural oil. Bless it in the name of the Lord of the Day, the youthful, ardent one, the Lord of Life, the God of the Greenwood Glen. Pass it swiftly through the candle's flame, the Bel fire, so that it becomes magickally imbued, 'charged,' with power. Place the wand upon the dish of earth, gather your magickal intent and focus.

As you hold the wand on the dish, say:

"As the wand is to the earth, so the male is to the female, and the Sun to our blossoming world. Joined, they bring happiness. May the God of Life give ___ [state a request, for example, an end to the wars in the Middle East.] May the Goddess bring it forth!"

Feel the energy spread from the ground, through your body, into your arm and by extension, into the consecrated wand. Close your eyes as your magickal intent increases, sending the power into the dish of earth, which represents our Sacred Mother, the Planet Earth.

Now, sit quietly for a while, picturing the literal blossoming of your magickal intent. The spells and invocations of each of us, all working with similar themes like this throughout the world, must eventually bear fruit because life is, by its very nature, dedicated to survival and peace. Leave the earth and wand upon the altar.

Walk deosil three times around the circle, then spiral into its center. Go evenly, with grace, meditatively. Sit beside the candle flame, allowing yourself to feel peaceful. Gaze into the flame.

The next part will be different depending on whether you are a woman or a man.

For Women: Visualize a red rosebud in your womb. Always your womb is the source of your creative power, whether you are pregnant, or brimming with an idea, a work of art, or a magickal intention. It is the source of all life, the energy-affirming center of joyous sex and desire.

Close your eyes and picture the light from the candle streaming into your womb so that the rosebud blooms, unfolds. Hold the image for a while, feel the warmth spread within you, the sensual silkiness of the flower, its scent, the freshness, the vibrant color of the fully open rose at the center of your being. Feel the strength and power of your own fully blossomed capabilities. Say:

"I am a woman, strong to conceive and to create, to give birth, to tend and to receive tending. As I am a daughter of the Goddess, and blessed by the God, I intend to ___ [state what you wish to achieve at this time in life. For example, to bring healing to others, to write a book, gain a promotion, whatever matters to you.]"

Feel the strength and creative force within your body. See the power being channeled, flowing into the desire you have just voiced. Open your eyes. Always, the rose will remain within you.

For a Man: Visualize a bright flame. This burns within your sexual center, a point at the base of the stomach, just above the pubic hairline. It is your own male strength and energy that will rise through your body to be released as fertilizing power, in any form, or it may be the potency that impregnates, creating a physical child. It is the force that blesses and bestows, a healing and creative energy, like the shining Sun. Visualize that you are sitting in a garden and that a rose tree is in front of you, the roses closed in buds. Say:

"I am a man, and in my passion is beauty, in my warmth is life. As I am a son of the Goddess, and blessed by the God, I offer my strength and vitality to ____ [Name the area of life, the place, activity, or commitment of your choice.]

Visualize the light streaming from you to a rose bud upon the tree causing it to unfold, to blossom. Your flame is lowered by this effort. Much has gone out of you, the flame retreats. Wait and watch, until a pink light streams from the rose toward your body. At its touch, just above the pubic hairline the flame resurges. It burns higher and stronger than ever before. Open your eyes. The flame is always within you.

[Source: Adapted from "The Wiccan Path," by Rae Beth]

Beltane Circle Ceremony for a Group or Coven

Place two white candles are on the altar with a wreath of spring flowers. The candles representing the Quarters should be green.

The spiritual leader should "ride" a May Pole like a child's wooden stick horse if possible, moving about the Sacred Space in quick, trotting steps, chanting:

"O do not tell the priests of our Art,
For they would call it sin;
But we will be in the woods all night,
A-conjuring summer in.

And we bring you good news by word of mouth,
For woman, cattle and corn,
For the sun is coming up from the south,
With oak and ash and thorn."

A ring dance follows after which leader casts the Sacred Circle. You may choose to have a man draws down the Moon upon the female leader. All attending are purified in sacrifice before her, who represents the Goddess.

She purifies the man who represents the God at her own hands.

All partake of Cakes and Wine (Ale) followed by feasting, dancing and singing and the Great Rite [a symbolic or actual sexual union between the two], if at all possible, in token or truly.

Note: For many groups and covens, the actual sexual union between the female and male remains controversial. For those who still do this, the couple is concealed behind some sort of screen so their activities cannot be viewed by those in attendance.

As a bisexual and modest woman, the symbolic representation of the sexual union for the purpose of underscoring the act of literal creation is the only way to go.

— Danu's Daughter

April Showers Lead to May's Beltane: Part I

Apparently, I decided to play an April Fool's Day joke on myself — I am posting this on April 3!

The name "April" is derived from Aphrodite, the Greek goddess of love who was known to the Romans as Venus.

The "Kalends" of April are sacred to Venus, as is the entire month. [Note: Kalends is the name the Romans gave to the first day of the month. The Kalends was the day of the new moon. While the Kalends were always the first day of the month, the other two named days, the Ides and the Nones, were not always on the same day of the month. The Kalends was on the new moon, the Ides on the full moon, and the Nones between the two. The longest period of the month fell between the full moon and the Kalends.]

The month would begin with the Veneralia, public games, called ludi, which would be held in honour of Venus. This day was also known as All Fools Day to the Romans, and they would spend the entire day celebrating with comic hillarity, doing things backwards, wearing women's clothes, dancing in the streets, and generally carrying on in the most good-natured but absurd way possible. This is one of the few Roman holidays that has preserved some of its original character, under the modern name April Fool's Day.

As a Solitary Practitioner of Wicca, I observe the holidays (Sabbats in honor of the gods, and Esbats in honor of the goddesses) as the Wheel of the Year turns. I follow these basic laws, which can be consolidated as:

"Bide the Wiccan laws ye must, in perfect love and perfect trust...Mind the Threefold Law ye should — three times bad and three times good...Eight words the Wiccan Rede fulfill — an it harm none, do what ye will."

May's Eve

The Sacred Sabbat Beltane officially begins at sunset on April 30. Although most celebrations don't get into full swing until May 1, most Wiccans and Pagans acknowledge May's Eve in some fashion.

On the eve of Beltane the Celts build two large fires, created from the nine sacred woods, in honor of Summer. The tribal herds were ritually driven between them, so as to purify and protect them in the upcoming year. The fires celebrate the return of life and fruitfulness to the earth. Celebration included frolicking throughout the countryside, dancing the Maypole, leaping over fires, and "going a maying". It was customary for young lovers to spend the night in the forest.

On May's Eve people would tear branches from a Hawthorn tree and decorate the outside of their homes. The Hawthorn, or Whitethorn, is the tree of hope, pleasure, and protection. The strong taboo for breaking Hawthorne branches, or bringing them into the home was traditionally lifted on May Eve.

A nice tradition to start is a modernization of that ancient one. Take equal lengths of white and silver ribbons, then tie them in a bow around one of the lower branches of a tree, preferrably a Hawthorn. Do this at sunset, and focus on the beautiful tree, then ask the Goddess for Her blessings.

Beltane

As a fun and meaningful Sabbat, I am going to present the Beltane rituals in Part II of this post. In this post, I am presenting the basics of the holiday.

The word "Beltane" literally means "bright" or "brilliant fire," and refers to the bonfire lit by a presiding Druid in honor of the proto-Celtic god variously known as Bel, Beli, Balar, Balor or Belenus. It has been suggested that Bel is the Brythonic Celt equivalent to the Goidelic Celt god Kernunnos.

The third of the two Celtic fire festivals, Beltane was a celebration of the return of life and fertility to the world, and was celebrated on or around April 30, athough in these later years has become more commonly celebrated on May 1 ("May Day").

Beltane is sometimes referred to as Cetsamhain which means "opposite Samhain." Beltane was the last of the three spring fertility festivals, and the second major Celtic festival. Beltane, and its counterpart Samhain (Halloween), divide the year into its two primary seasons, Winter and Summer.

Beltane was the time of sensuality revitalized the reawakening of the earth and all of her children. It was the time when tribal people celebrated with joy the vivid colors and vibrant scents of the season, tingling summer breezes, and the rapture of summer after a long dormant winter. It was customary that Handfastings (Marriages), for a year and a day, take place at this time.

Another custom was to leap over the Beltane bonfire. Young people jumped the fire for luck in finding a spouse, travelers jumped the fire to ensure a safe journey, and pregnant women jumped the fire to assure an easy delivery.

Beltane Love Potion

This is the only magickal ritual that I'm presenting in this post because this Potion should be made under the full moon before Beltane. This April's Full Moon falls on the 18th.

What you will need:

A single white candle
A bowl or chalice
A crystal (preferably rose or clear quartz)
A red or pink rose bud and petals
Spring water
Rose or jasmine water (optional)
Vodka
Decanter with top or seal
 If possible, cast your circle in a place outdoors (or if indoors, hopefully next to a window with a view of the Full Moon.) If bad weather/cloudy skies present an obstacle, use a candle flame instead.

Holding the bowl or chalice full of pure spring water, catch the reflection of the Moon (or candle flame) within. Call to the Goddess Aphrodite, or any other diety that represents love to you, to send Her Divine Essence flowing into the water along with the moonlight. Concentrate on what perfect love means to you and instill your own essence into the water by blowing gently upon it.

Next, add rose petals and buds to the water. Add the crystal that you´ve held up to the moonlight to consecrate to a Goddess of Love. A touch of rose or jasmine water would be nice, but is not necessary.

Pour your water into a beautiful decanter and add an equal portion of Vodka to seal the Potion. Keep this Potion in a dark space out of the sunlight - for the magickal properties of the Night are required for it to remain potent.

Use this potion to annoint candles and magickal writings — Love Spells. Use it like a perfume to attract a perfect love to you. Add a few drops to your own drink for the same effect, and naturally, it is important NOT to use this Potion in any manipulative manner, as it would be a violation of the basic Wiccan laws.

— Danu's Daughter